There's a new definition for "idiot": anyone who lives in Melbourne and didn't go out in the sun today.

What a glorious day! Really perfect conditions for a bike ride - or doing anything outdoors. And being the ANZAC Day public holiday, there was little excuse for staying inside watching TV or twiddling with your XBox. If you didn't do something outside today - even potter in the garden or lounge around with a book - you really are an idiot.

I had a few jobs to clear first - lawn mowing, kids (mine and the Collingwoods) to the playground, clean a few bikes - so it was late-ish in the day before I (with the Co-Pilot in the dicky seat) managed to throw my leg over a treadly and head out. I thought we'd head north along the Outer Circle Rail Trail (aka the Anniversary Trail).

First obstacle

We picked up the trail at East Malvern station - the climb over the bridge isn't hard but from a standing start it's a great way to get yourself warmed-up. We met our first obstacle at the bottom of Solway St: the bridge is closed (hopefully for repairs and to be reopened soon). It's funny, I ride past here every day and although I'd noticed some safety bunting there out of the corner of my eye it hadn't registered that the bridge was closed. Still, there are plenty of other things to keep your eye on at that point - loose gravel, golfers, other path users - it's not really surprising.

The diversion by way of Winton Rd didn't take us too long and we were soon whizzing along the old rail reserve toward Alamein station. The Anniversary Trail is a real gem - it's mostly well sealed, an easy grade (as you'd expect of a rail trail), and quite easy to follow. It's only real problem is that between Alamein and East Camberwell stations it makes road crossings at grade level. That means you screech to a stop at High St (Ashburton), Toorak Rd, Riversdale Rd, and Prospect Hill Rd (plus a few other minor roads also). The same applies later on at Whitehorse Rd, Burke Rd, and High St (Kew). That tends to break up the flow a bit.

Non-idiots

Regardless, we found ourselves ripping along mostly quiet trails until we crossed Toorak Rd and found Hartwell Station Reserve and Frog Hollow Reserve teeming with non-idiots enjoying the Autumnal sunshine. After crossing Riversdale Rd at the site of my worst tramline tangle (way back in 198<mumble-mumble> - rainy day, peak hour, sliding on my back into oncoming traffic - an enduring memory…), we abandoned a misguided attempt to cut through Camberwell High and crossed Prospect Hill Rd at Spencer Rd.

Get down

From here it's uninterrupted rail reserve, dropping below road level at Canterbury Rd and into a real, deep railway cutting at the northern end of Shenley Ground (also full of non-idiots). I remember once battling through here before it was sealed (it takes a long time for an old railway cutting to dry out after rain!) but no more - it's sealed, flat, and whips under several roads. We tried to get a steady "commuter pace" going but we weren't the only non-idiots out and about today, so there was a bit of give-and-take for family groups on wheels and dog walkers. You know, that sealed pathway probably could have been a bit wider.

Onward - Whitehorse Rd, Burke Rd, more non-idiots at the playgrounds and a family of non-idiots playing a scratch game of soccer (bike helmets marking the boundaries and goals) - to High St (Kew).

Snackfest

I think I've mentioned before that the Co-Pilot views a bike ride as an extended snackfest and having devoured the only food I'd brought (two sesame seed snaps) before Whitehorse Rd he was now demanding more. ANZAC Day shopping options are strictly limited but a quick visit to the driveride-through bottle shop at the Harp Hotel provided him with a tube of potato chips. The bloke behind the counter suggested there'd be room for me to take some beer if I left the Co-Pilot behind but rightly surmised that "The missus wouldn't be too impressed" if I did that.

Turn

It was time to turn around if we were to stand a chance of getting back before dark (bugger, didn't think we'd need lights). So we headed off with the sound of real idiots inside the pub watching footy on the "big screen" and missing the priceless sunshine. Truly idiotic.

Different kind of idiot

Zooming back along still well-populated pathways I tried to keep up a good pace and wasn't doing too badly. Until Boroondara Park: the non-idiots seemed to be a bit thicker on the trail here. So I thought I be clever - on the way out I noticed a side road running by the park (turns out it's called Beaumont St) which I reckoned would make a quicker diversion around the throng. The trouble is Beaumont St is not the alternative route I thought it was: it's a dead-end - turning into a rough driveway, then gravel, then deep and treacherous grass.

Adopting a different kind of idiocy I ploughed on at speed. Only to see the front wheel plunge away six or eight inches into a rut hidden by long grass then it popped up into the air again with the help of the added weight on the back. We came to a sudden ungainly halt: nothing for it, we were going down. Struggling to slow his descent, I managed to deliver the Co-Pilot suddenly and unexpectedly to the ground - totally unharmed but mightily surprised. Fortunately he saw the funny side of it, as did the on-looking dog walkers who gave us an average score of 7.6. Not bad at all for the Co-Pilot's first ever bike crash.

Speed

We took to the roads for a bit more for speed - in fact we were on road most of the way from Riversdale Rd back to High St. A little diversion off the trail at Toorak Rd made it easier to cross by getting out there with the traffic and then crossing back over the train line at Burwood Station. The remainder of the ride passed uneventfully (apart from spilling some chips - which upset the Co-Pilot more than the crash) and we turned into our street just as the street lights were flickering into life. Phew, just made it before dark.

What a great ride - how rewarding it is to get onto another path other than "straight to work and back". And didn't the Co-Pilot fully brag to MLSP about our stack!

Commute route?

It's interesting to consider the Anniversary Trail as a possible commuting route. There are a few problems I could see:

  • frequent road crossings, sometimes with no traffic light assistance - most notably Toorak Rd but you also need to make a minor deviation at High St (Ashburton) to get to a traffic light
  • going on the parallel road would make for faster riding in some places (e.g. Welfare Pde and Fordham Ave) because the trail encounters frequent minor street crossings with tight dog-leg gates and (presumably) fairly heavy foot traffic near railway stations

But then on the part that we rode today, the best bit would be the stretch from East Camberwell station to Whitehorse Rd: the old railway cutting would be a breeze I reckon. As for Whitehorse Rd to High St - there are heaps of minor road crossings here but at least they generally lack the quite obstructive dog-leg gates found further south on the trail. Which is good because there is no parallel street alternative there.

Yeah, you could commute this route but it would be a real mix of the sublime and the tedious.