I've ranted about cotton wool kids before, both in the USA and here in Australia. It's not new in the UK either, and I note that in Scandinavia, helicopter parents are known as "curling parents" (sweeping obstacles aside for their kids).
And it's a real shame that with the best of intentions, "panicky parents are breeding a generation of 'cotton wool kids' too afraid to climb trees or ride their bikes". Don't parents remember their own childhoods?
Worse, it seems that we've reached a point that the sight of children playing outside is considered suspect.
How did this happen?
Why can't society accept that kids actually need some risky play in their lives?
'Children are not being allowed many of the freedoms that were taken for granted when we were children,' said Adrian Voce, director of Play England. 'They are not enjoying the opportunities to play outside that most people would have thought of as normal when they were growing up.'…Voce pointed out how irrational some of these decisions were. Last year, almost three times as many children were admitted to hospital after falling out of bed as those who had fallen from a tree.
And here's another thing that I hadn't thought of: it turns out that too much indoor play could be bad for children's eyesight. If mollycoddled kids rarely go outside into the natural light and rarely have to look further than the computer screen, is it really surprising that they are at risk of becoming near-sighted?
"We 'ad it tough…"
When I was a kid, I'm sure my parents had exactly the same concerns as today's helicopter parents, but their approach was quite different: they taught us things like how to swim, to watch out for snakes, and to respect other people's property. The rest was up to us, more or less. Mum just had to know who we were mucking around with and that we'd be home for dinner. [And if you're reading this, thanks Mum.]
There's an old story in my family about how our parents had to choose holiday destinations that were in close proximity to a hospital, because I would inevitably need to be hauled off to casualty to be stitched up or have a limb put in plaster. The reality was a little different. Oh sure, I was sometimes (often?) injured on our holidays, but I can remember some pretty long drives from remote locations to small country hospitals. Maybe I was accident-prone or maybe I was just a kid having some real-life adventures. Either way, that didn't stop my folks taking the whole tribe well-and-truly off the beaten track. For the record, those childhood holidays were bloody fantastic and recalling those old adventures (and accidents) make great stories. [Again, thanks Mum.]
I guess I sound like one of The Four Yorkshiremen, but here's my point: no one wants to see their kids get hurt, but it's entirely possible that shielding them from real experiences is far, far more harmful. Sheesh, get those kids outside—let 'em climb trees and ride bikes—sure they might get hurt, but they will definitely experience something far more important: a real childhood.
It's incredible just how profound an influence childhood freedoms have on adult behaviours. Had I not been free to pull my dad's old Apollo 10-Speed from the shed (from the dust and cobwebs and the redbacks that made them, from the boxes of sharp tools and old books and the faint, greasy whiff of two stroke) - had I not been free to take that bike and go for a long ride to no place special - I doubt I'd be riding to work now, never mind enjoying it.
Brunswick Street may be bumpy, but have you ever tried riding an unsealed country road on 27" rims? Ouch.
Congratulations. Started looking for kiddie seats yet?
Gee, that new mother is in for one rude shock. It ain't no bruise on the arm.
I concur. We have a little boy on the way, and my partner has been most relieved to hear about all the insane things my brothers and I did... because even tho there were incidents that would have been dangerous, we're all still alive, healty and hale.
There's also a problem where if you deny kids a chance to learn thoroughly about their environment, their ability to evaluate risk accurately goes to pot. You can't judge how dangerous something is without some experimental context. (as a related example, one of the women in the antenatal class said she had no idea how to rate labour in terms of pain because she's never had any injury more serious than a bruise.. so she was full of trepedation).
My mother forwarded this email to me a while ago and this article reminded me of it .
Those were the days!
WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER ! "And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's ! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos... Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on a Sunday, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because........ WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O..K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , No video/dvd films, No mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.
Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...
We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn't need to keep up with the Jones's!
Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren't concentrating .. We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R's education. Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla' and 'Tiger'
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL ! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Comments
heh, not yet :-) My riding style isn't really appropriate to have children on the back. We have started planting trees that are fun to climb tho.
I think she was aware of that, and a bit worried.