I found myself in the somewhat unusual role of motorist today, which allowed me to experience an interaction with a cyclist from behind the wheel.
I approached a T-intersection where there was already a car waiting to turn right into the much busier cross street. There was also a cyclist in the cross street waiting to turn right into the road I was on. This was clearly a give way situation for the driver ahead of me, so when the through traffic cleared I was flabbergasted to watch the turning car roll out right in front of the cyclist even as the cyclist began to make his turn. How they managed to avoid a collision I'm not quite sure, but the car ended up completing the turn (out of correct sequence).
As the cyclist rode by my open window, I tried to indicate some understanding and camaraderie by shaking my head and saying to him "Unbelievable!" In response the cyclist snarled "What?" in a somewhat aggressive/defensive manner—as if I were questioning his actions. He couldn't have been more rude without waving a finger or two at me.
What had happened to that immediate, easy affinity that I'm used to? When I'm on the bike, that kind of opening line is immediately understood and the other cyclist will usually shrug their shoulders in a knowing way and maybe manage a rueful smile. It true that what I said was pretty ambiguous, but I don't think I've ever been quite so misunderstood when I've spoken as one cyclist to another.
I don't condemn the guy. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he'd already copped some abuse through car windows this morning. And maybe he didn't hear me as clearly as I thought he had; maybe he thought I'd said something else. But still it was a curious incident.
Its seems like you've been caught in 'friendly fire'. Its easy for this kind of thing to happen. I usually don't hear half of the things said to me on the road, but I presume that there not compliments and its easy to be misunderstood. One possible solution could be to adorn your car with some 'watch for cyclists' stickers. See: http://www.watchforcyclists.com/home.htm It sends a little message to everyone that your not intending to run over any cyclists.
In general, I try to encourage friends to not do that (nor to honk their horn to say hi... yikes). I'm usually concentrating, and having people suddenly say something in my ear is as much a problem as nearly being run over.
It's sad we have this arise on just about every incident where a well meaning following driver tries to communicate some support or sympathy for the shock and near horror caused by another driver towards a cyclist. It is also understandable why a bicycle rider is not able to always accept or even see the gesture is intended in a well meaning supportive way considering , recent shock, then another car or truck appears in close proximity, a driver is gesturing from the other side of the vehicle with a window up and making hand waving or mouthing a few words in an unintelligable way to the rider... that has to be interpreted as more of the same rather than a sympathetic statement.
I have come to realise , when I do have to drive and I do have to make amends for other drivers transgressions and I do it this way, I back off from the rider, give them some space to recover, let them start moving back into the traffic when on their way, and just move carefully on my way and wave apologetically, I don't toot, or make other attempts to communicate, unless we are stopped at a lights ahead and then I can say what is on my mind about the other driver. If it is a bad incident and the law has been broken, I will get the other drivers number and share that with the rider and confirm I am willing to go to court and help in his report to the police. Reporting these incidents and having support as witnesses and being willing to go to court is the best drivers can do and will in the long run help the bring about a change in a culture that considers vulnerable road users potential road kill and lesser humans.
Comments
Yeah, I think a lot of miscommunication happens when the rider and driver (or drivers between themselves for that matter) have one second—and one chance—to get something across. There's no time for subtle nuances and careful explanations in that situation. As a cyclist I no longer go in for one-shot angry exchanges (unless my life has been endangered in particularly egregious way) because they just don't get anyone anywhere.
I see eccles' point, although this wasn't a sneak-up surprise situation. Still I reckon I'll go with the consensus here: it's just too easy to be misheard or misunderstood in one of those split-second encounters, so in future I'll just keep my trap shut.
As for horn-honking, I agree that's completely out—way too easy for that to be misunderstood as aggro and it often comes as a nasty surprise.